I feel to tell you about a movie based on the actual doing, where we skip a few years to get faster to the outcome of the story, happy ending or not.
I may surprise you what I'll tell you. Not only my life three years after the announcement of the cancer can not be untied, but also I do not really feel happy. It is politically incorrect to admit that despite my remission, a life surrounded by loving people, and a published book and praised rather well, I'm not satisfied. How ungrateful you can tell me and you are partly right.
My path, widely described, gives pride to the feeling of acceptance I found the announcement of the cancer. A liberating feeling that me through the best if not the most beautiful way the disease. A feeling that does not presage what I was going to live in recent weeks.
I may surprise you what I'll tell you. Not only my life three years after the announcement of the cancer can not be untied, but also I do not really feel happy. It is politically incorrect to admit that despite my remission, a life surrounded by loving people, and a published book and praised rather well, I'm not satisfied. How ungrateful you can tell me and you are partly right.
My path, widely described, gives pride to the feeling of acceptance I found the announcement of the cancer. A liberating feeling that me through the best if not the most beautiful way the disease. A feeling that does not presage what I was going to live in recent weeks.
Now in remission, a sense of frustration earns me a little more each day. More than frustration is anger. I do realize that something is wrong, I bubbly from the inside, I have more and more difficult to communicate and convey my ideas. I am angry, and every morning for months now, tirelessly, I wake up with the feeling that something has to change. This anger has something to say. This is not a simple outburst. It's an emotion that lasts, itches, tickles me even in my dreams get weird ... My unconscious drumming tirelessly on the door to deliver a message. But which one?
We were raised with the idea that anger is not good adviser. Then over to my personal development, my readings and spiritual discovery, I learned, or at least interpreted, that anger is the prerogative of the weak, of those who can not stay 'zen', who do not know able to speak with, nor wisdom. So, in my anger, I add the layer of guilt. So if you follow me, I leave frustrated that generates anger and I do nothing better than to feel stupid and deplorable by the finding. A table bleak and rather obscure.
My desires are disorders!
During my recent interviews, I often had to answer the question "What cancer has changed for you? "Or" Why is this the secret of your current happiness and serenity? ". Nothing is white, nothing is black, everything is shades of gray.
Yes, that cancer, or rather the spiritual journey in which he rushed, has changed my life, at least the vision that I had. Yes, that perspective the events and reposition priorities.
The zen is not granted, provided it is regularly questioned. We mistakenly think that because we almost died, fought a serious illness, everything is pink and light.
In the pages of FemininBio was more used to read testimonials from people fulfilled, happy, and income spiritual successes and instances of wisdom to follow. And I come with my feelings "negative" somewhat destructive, explain that no, I'm not well. It's not easy to admit that I failed. However, if you allow me, I would qualify this notion of failure ...
And if my anger was that "messy" but nonetheless profound of my desires? After the finding, self flagellation, the umpteenth fight with myself and passion with others I began to understand the message ...
Yes I am angry against a sick society that does not call into question or is not enough for my taste. I am angry and frustrated to see the extent of damage around me and the work required especially when the inertia wins individuals. I am irritated and exasperated by these people close enough to hear me say that they are not responsible and that the issue goes beyond ... while continuing to live, consume and destroy as if nothing had happened. I feel powerless when I can not convince them, and guilty for not going any further on this path.
This was during a recent dinner in town that I began to realize what really animated me. We were at table, the conversation gently slid to the refugee situation. I gave my opinion, as what everything is connected, that we are responsible for the misery of the world, that we can not accommodate all they said. We had dessert and half the guests stood up and headed for the living room, perhaps because it does not agree or do not wish to discuss the subject. And I confess, I tend to talk a lot of passion or take a little. I am anything but 'smooth'
I continued to converse with the other half of the guests and said "Sonia you have a mission. You are inhabited by what you say, and you're convinced you can have arguments to sensitize the world around you. "
And this morning between two parties (NDRL Sonia 28 December 2015), I realize that this anger of energy can be a tremendous source of transformation, such as winds and marshes once contained.
It is said that mourning, anger comes right after the reduction. A necessary phase in the assimilation of the loss to move to a better. And if I were a molting? An interval of profound changes in line with that required for our societies. This involves accepting the imperfection of our lifestyles and the values on which they are built. To accept that we are not all at the same level of awareness and openness to small metamorphoses every day. The streams are rivers, and we are both the drop and the ocean.
Nothing you write it relieves me and channeled my anger, that seems simple and obvious at the time when I share it with you. My mission is to take up the pen, to tell how in a few years I got to all organic, almost all ecological when I live in urban areas. How I changed my mode of consumption and that I am stingy labels. How will my budget, not expandable like yours and most of us moved to a new key. How recent priorities have emerged slowly but surely to me. The year 2016 will be that of "Change My 21" I will try to share with you, taking you by the hand a little if you do not mind, step by step for a better elsewhere and equitable for all.
We were raised with the idea that anger is not good adviser. Then over to my personal development, my readings and spiritual discovery, I learned, or at least interpreted, that anger is the prerogative of the weak, of those who can not stay 'zen', who do not know able to speak with, nor wisdom. So, in my anger, I add the layer of guilt. So if you follow me, I leave frustrated that generates anger and I do nothing better than to feel stupid and deplorable by the finding. A table bleak and rather obscure.
My desires are disorders!
During my recent interviews, I often had to answer the question "What cancer has changed for you? "Or" Why is this the secret of your current happiness and serenity? ". Nothing is white, nothing is black, everything is shades of gray.
Yes, that cancer, or rather the spiritual journey in which he rushed, has changed my life, at least the vision that I had. Yes, that perspective the events and reposition priorities.
The zen is not granted, provided it is regularly questioned. We mistakenly think that because we almost died, fought a serious illness, everything is pink and light.
In the pages of FemininBio was more used to read testimonials from people fulfilled, happy, and income spiritual successes and instances of wisdom to follow. And I come with my feelings "negative" somewhat destructive, explain that no, I'm not well. It's not easy to admit that I failed. However, if you allow me, I would qualify this notion of failure ...
And if my anger was that "messy" but nonetheless profound of my desires? After the finding, self flagellation, the umpteenth fight with myself and passion with others I began to understand the message ...
Yes I am angry against a sick society that does not call into question or is not enough for my taste. I am angry and frustrated to see the extent of damage around me and the work required especially when the inertia wins individuals. I am irritated and exasperated by these people close enough to hear me say that they are not responsible and that the issue goes beyond ... while continuing to live, consume and destroy as if nothing had happened. I feel powerless when I can not convince them, and guilty for not going any further on this path.
This was during a recent dinner in town that I began to realize what really animated me. We were at table, the conversation gently slid to the refugee situation. I gave my opinion, as what everything is connected, that we are responsible for the misery of the world, that we can not accommodate all they said. We had dessert and half the guests stood up and headed for the living room, perhaps because it does not agree or do not wish to discuss the subject. And I confess, I tend to talk a lot of passion or take a little. I am anything but 'smooth'
I continued to converse with the other half of the guests and said "Sonia you have a mission. You are inhabited by what you say, and you're convinced you can have arguments to sensitize the world around you. "
And this morning between two parties (NDRL Sonia 28 December 2015), I realize that this anger of energy can be a tremendous source of transformation, such as winds and marshes once contained.
It is said that mourning, anger comes right after the reduction. A necessary phase in the assimilation of the loss to move to a better. And if I were a molting? An interval of profound changes in line with that required for our societies. This involves accepting the imperfection of our lifestyles and the values on which they are built. To accept that we are not all at the same level of awareness and openness to small metamorphoses every day. The streams are rivers, and we are both the drop and the ocean.
Nothing you write it relieves me and channeled my anger, that seems simple and obvious at the time when I share it with you. My mission is to take up the pen, to tell how in a few years I got to all organic, almost all ecological when I live in urban areas. How I changed my mode of consumption and that I am stingy labels. How will my budget, not expandable like yours and most of us moved to a new key. How recent priorities have emerged slowly but surely to me. The year 2016 will be that of "Change My 21" I will try to share with you, taking you by the hand a little if you do not mind, step by step for a better elsewhere and equitable for all.
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